To the Girl who...is mad at God.

I sit here in tears. I sit here balled up in anger. In bitterness. My teeth are clenched. My fists are raised. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm mad at God. I haven't been mad at God many times in my short twenty four years on this earth...but after many tears and many yells, screams and cries directed at everyone else in my life...I've traced the tear trail back to one source of anger...Yep, I'm definetely mad at God. Ya see, there's this one thing that I desire. This one thing that in itself is not just one thing, but the beginning to a new future...I've desired this beautiful thing for a while now...and I've even thought to myself..."man, I just KNOW God has put this desire in my heart...it feels so right...it feels so like the right direction...it feels like my calling..." But, years have passed. and nothing. I look around me and thanks to our insanely massive social media network, I see within two seconds of logging on that so many other people are getting exactly what they want...what I want. and post after post, picture after picture, I just smile and deep down, am truly happy for them...seems just here recently though, that after so many smiles and good attitudes, that whole deal starts getting crazy hard. I have slowly drifted into a bed of bitterness. I am no longer seeing anything genuinely good in my heart, my attitude. Seems nowadays everything I see and think is just terrible. Filled with angry thoughts, raging jealousy, let's go crawl in a hole bitterness...and it's got me so ticked off at God. Just when I think I'm at a breakthrough with receiving my heart's desire, I am only fooled and look up to see myself no where closer than I was when I began the pursuit.

It's got me thinking about Hannah. Ya know, 1 Samuel Hannah...If you have your bible anywhere close to you, crack it open to 1 Samuel 1 and read verses 1 through chapter 2:11...it's not that long...but what's inside is speaking to me in volumes this morning...I've got to get through this anger...YOU'VE got to do that too...How? How do you find truth when you're so mad at God you can't see straight? You push. You fight with your flesh...because, deep down..I know that God is good. I really do know that.,,but, knowing that He controls everything..that in a blink of his big ole eye, my desire could be here before you have time to say holy moly..my frustration, disappointment and anger automatically and instantly turn to God. For whatever reason, God has allowed the desire to wait. He has planned out my life so that I would be right where I am, living with OUT the desire for a while or for who knows how long...and I know in the secret parts of my heart that it's all for good...but good grief, it's so hard getting through life watching everyone else get what you desire so strongly. and what's even harder is seeing so many people who you KNOW care nothing about the Lord get all the good stuff..while you're sitting there serving Him with your whole heart and choking on desert air.

Hannah knew exactly what that felt like...for years, HER deepest desire was to conceive a baby and be a mommy. She wanted it so badly, so desperately.... that after years of seeing others obtain what SHE desired, the word says in 1 Samuel 10 that Hannah made her way straight to the temple of the Lord and wept BITTERLY..she was DEEPLY DISTRESSED and she PRAYED TO THE LORD...hmmmm...why is it that I, too, feel deeply distressed about obtaining this desire of my heart but instead of praying to the Lord and heading straight for the temple of the Lord, I'm packing my bags and running away? I mean, Hannah waited YEARS...and right before all this went down, verse 5 in chapter 1 says that Hannah's husband loved her and gave her a double portion (of food), EVEN THOUGH THE LORD HAD CLOSED HER WOMB. 

WHAT? 

Hannah knew that the Lord had the power to give her the desire of her heart..she knew that He had closed her womb, the very door that led to her holding her own precious angel in her arms. How could she still push through the temple doors with her arms open wide...almost is if she fell through those doors and into the arms of her Lord? 

Hannah possessed something then that I must possess now. 

1. First, I must stop and acknowledge that God is good..and not only is He good, but He is mine and I am His. Hannah desired  a baby, but recognized first, that SHE was the LORD'S baby...His child. His daughter...and no matter what He chose to do, she would always be His and His plans for her would always work out to bring Him honor and glory. 

2. Hannah chose to not run TO anger, but to pure and genuine weeping...to run INTO the Lord's arms, not in the opposite direction. She ran into His house...she prayed. She directed her emotions towards the Lord and did so with nothing but love for her Daddy...

3. Hannah promised the Lord that if He would give her a child, she would give the baby right back to Him. She made it very clear that anything she received...any one of her desires that came to life...had been given to her from God. They were not hers to begin with...so if He chose to answer her prayers, she would give the gift back. We must give the desire BACK to God before we even receive it. Waiting for your husband? Give him to God NOW. Waiting for that new job? Give it to God NOW. Waiting on a baby? Give the baby to God right NOW. Hannah did that...and lastly...

4. Hannah left with Hope. She left the temple with hope that the Lord heard her cries and that in his timing, He would answer her. She left with her head held high. No more tears, just a big heart of hope and trust and love for her Daddy and for the desire she just KNEW she would receive...Ya see, when she made her way into the temple, a priest named Eli was in there...he was actually kicking' a chill.."sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord" (verse 9)...He saw her and the way she was carrying on..the crying, the praying silently to herself...at first he thought she was drunk! HA! She quickly corrected him and after explaining to him her deep desire to have a child, he said this to her..."Go in peace and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him..." WOW. Talk about exciting. She replied with "let your servant find favor in your eyes.."

Hannah left there with hope that the Lord would find favor in her eyes...she left there with HOPE that God would come through for her...and that regardless, God was good. God saw her. God gave Hannah a peace that was inexplainable when she left the temple that day...so as you head out to where ever your going today, as you dry your eyes..fix your makeup, roll out of bed..asking yourself "how am I going to make it through this day?"...remember, God sees you. Take that anger and let the peace of God wash over you. God is for you, not against you. And sister, your time will come...maybe, like Hannah...the Lord is showing YOU to flourish in the waiting, so that when you DO experience your miracle, it will be the most beautiful experience you've had with the Lord YET...

Flourish, baby, Flourish

Ashleigh 

"How..What...Why...When...God?"

"Now the Lord said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed....So Abram went, as the Lord had told him..."

Genesis 12:1-4

I know it. That feeling you get when you feel the Holy Spirit leading you. Whispering to you. I know the thoughts that come after you hear it..."God, is this really you speaking?" "Lord, am I talking all of this up in my head?" "Is the enemy trying to trip me up?" "IS THIS REALLY YOU?"

I know that process because I've been there, and am there now. This conversation from the Lord (more like a straight command), really has very little dialogue to make sense to Abraham. I mean, how simple does Abraham's life seem then? God says GO, he says FO SHO. Does it not absolutely blow your mind that Abraham asked ZERO questions..."Ummm, hey God, how you doin'? So, like..uhhh yeah, you gonna tell me just where exactly it is that I aughta go?"...or what about..."Ima need DEETS Lord (details people), Ima need to know what time we headin' out so I can pack my stuff and feed the dog before we go...ima need to know how we gettin' there, ya know...like...should I load up the camel, or should we take the desert steamroller..oh yeah, and WHY am I leaving exactly? I actually kinda like where I'm at...I got all muh friends by my side, I got my house all did up, lookin' like pinterest on FI'YAH... why we gotta leave?"

SO MANY QUESTIONS COULD HAVE BEEN ASKED, BUT ABRAHAM CHOSE NOT TO ASK THEM. 

In fact, Scripture doesn't even record him responding with words...Abraham responds with immediate action..."So Abram went, as the Lord had told him..." WOW. Ya see, I think the reason for Abraham's response was because of the promise that followed the command..I think that when the Lord unwrapped that promise to Abraham, he became fixated on the prize at the end. He became like a kid at Christmas waiting to open that massive present under his tree...He knew it was coming. He knew something unimaginable was on the horizon, wrapped up with a big red bow on it, straight from the God of heaven, from the God of the stars..."I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and him who dishonors you I will curse, and IN YOU ALL THE FAMILIES OF THE EARTH SHALL BE BLESSED..." THATS ME AND YOU PEOPLE! Abraham is chillin up in the heavenlies with his Daddy and He is STILL reaping His promise...THROUGH US!! Ya see, Abraham heard the command...but heard the promise afterwards...and his heart chose that day to TRUST in the words spoken by the Lord...to refrain from asking all questions...knowing that the Lord held him, that the Lord WOULD show Him, because He is faithful to lead the way. Is there something that's been impressed on your heart lately, daughter of the King, that you just can't seem to shake? A burden maybe for an area that is in desperate need? A ministry at your church that needs someone to step up, take others by their hands and lovingly lead, perhaps? Maybe day in and day out, you weep before your daddy about a particular issue...your heart is heavy, your desire is strong...or how about...you find yourself going back in your mind to that lost friend you have, who you know needs Jesus desperately, but you've never gone and asked her to hang out with you, you have yet to pursue her...Are you the daughter of the King who cries relentlessly to your Daddy behind closed doors, with a desire to adopt a baby..to become a "mother to many"?...What is it that the Lord is telling you through your holy burdens, through your tears, through your passion and your desires that have been placed there by our Holy Spirit?

"GO"

"But God, how will we..."

"GO"

But, wait, what about.."

"GO"

"Oh, Father, I don't know..."

"I know...GO...hear my promises that I am singing over you, that I sang over your father Abraham...trust like he trusted me, not knowing any details...not knowing which step to take next, and just...go.."

Choosing to hold tight to his promises, to ask no questions, to hope, to believe in his calling...and to go...

Love in Jesus, 

Ashleigh

my top ten "let's fall in love with Jesus" songs...

my mind has wandered this morning back to the times that the Lord first romanced me ... 

a few weeks ago, our student ministry had our usual Wednesday night student service called "ONE"...we always open up with about twenty minutes of worship and then go into the message...but the worship that night was somewhat different for me...a song began to play that took me back to age 16...all of a sudden, as I felt my eyes close and the tears begin to fall, I heard the Lord whisper to me from behind.."Ashleigh, take off your shoes..." those sweet words were all too familiar with me...in high school, our Wednesday nights were what I lived for and longed for each week...Jesus literally called out to me during those sweet times of worship in high school...they looked very different than what we see now, as we were in the "MPB" student building, the walls were painted black, the setting was just different, different people...but none the less, He would call out to me during those Wednesday nights...with notebook and pen ready, on the edge of my seat literally every week...I knew I would hear from him...He romanced me during those years and even still romances me to this day...but...there is just something so sweet about hearing his voice and his love songs in high school...I would hear him say...

"Ashleigh, take off your shoes...let me see you..."

"Ashleigh, if I could just sit with you a while, Ashleigh I wanna hold you..."

"Ashleigh, let me sweep you away...do you feel my hand in yours?"

"Ashleigh, you captivate me...my grace flows down on you..."

"Ashleigh, I walk on waves...I run with clouds..I paint the sky for you to see..."

"Ashleigh, lay back against me and breath...feel my heartbeat..."

I was swept away by him, I was romanced by him, I was asked to dance by him...through the worship...God literally breathed life into me through the songs the band chose to play...as I look back, I see now SO clearly that God ordained and set up each song for me. He led the band to choose those exact songs, with those exact lyrics...so he could reach..

me.

This morning, I've allowed myself to play time travel and travel back to high school...back to those first sweet moments of falling in love with Him...and I wanna share with YOU fine folks my top ten list of songs that Jesus used to romance me...these songs probably aren't played anymore hardly EVER....and you might look at them and call me old school, but sheesh...those moment when you hear him, when you fall in love with him...you just never forget those moments...and these songs are apart of who I am, because the God of creation used these as a tool to reach me...to reach the depths of my heart that only He could reach...I encourage you to find YOUR songs... to get you together a fancy playlist, to get alone, to take off your shoes...to be still before Him, and just listen for him through worship...

He's intoxicating...He's captivating..He's become my obsession...

1. Obsession...David Crowder Band

2. Did you feel the mountains tremble?...Matt Redman

3. Sweep me away...Charlie Hall

4. Sit with you awhile...Todd Agnew

5. The more I seek you...Kari Jobe

6. Captivate us...Watermark

7. Beautiful...Bethany Dillon

8. Yearn by Shane and Shane

9. Grace Flows Down...Christy Knockels

10. Love Song...Jason Morant

these songs not only take me back to the first time I experienced Jesus, but listening to them even now...my Daddy reminds me that He is still in love with me...that he is pursuing me, that he is still singing a love song to me...

what song is he singing to you? =)

Love in Jesus,

Ash

my prayer to the promise keeper...

Lord, "be all glory, majesty, dominion and authority before all time, now and forever" =)

Jude 1:24-25

Daddy, YOU ARE ABLE and I thank you for the journey you've led me on..like Hannah, I will praise you. I will come into your house, lift my hands into your presence and walk away full. I can see that our journey has been one oh so quite different from the world's typical ways..and I love it. I trust you...you are showing me what it means and looks like to wait and to experience your goodness in the waiting...God, when Brett and I got married, you saw my desires to adopt..you placed such a longing in my heart so long ago, before I had even met my sweet husband, to become a mother to the motherless..to love a precious angel who has no one else...you saw my deep desire...because you were the One who placed it there...two years ago, that desire just looked about near impossible...as if it were simply a far away dream...but you never fail me. you never birth something into the life of your daughter and do not see it through...

YOU ARE THE PROMISE KEEPER.

Lord, you have answered my prayer...a few weeks ago, Brett and I stood amazed as you allowed us to scoop up a beautiful foster baby, flawless, innocent, loved by you, wanted by you...and keep her for an entire WEEK. THE sweetest desire fulfilled in my life...we were not able to go through the foster care classes through this season in our life and you knew that..you always know. you always see. you always get me. and even still, you made a way...YOU ARE ABLE.  I flippin love you Lord. Throughout the span of a year, Brett and I have had the beautiful opportunity of keeping four different foster children at different times...we were given the opportunity to love on them, to show them Jesus, to wrap them up in our arms and to cry over them, to pray over them..all the while being filled to the brim with just straight up awe over how you truly ARE the promise keeper...

i cling to "delight yourself in the Lord and He WILL give you the desires of your heart.."

from the time I was just a teeny girl, you used my sweet and beautiful hearted granny to speak this promise over me...it wasn't a promise for selfish gain..but a promise that all good things are found in you, Jesus. that the beautiful desires you birth into me come to be when I simply find all of my delight in just being with you...you work things out for those who love you...even when through the journey we don't understand it all...

Daddy, you have made this promise come to life for me...every desire has been met..with meeting my godly, Jesus-loving, crack me UP husband, to opening the door of my dreams to becoming a girls minister, every day waking up with the purpose of breathing YOUR life into your beautiful daughters, to Brett and I taking care of orphans in our home...Lord, you have answered the desire of my heart to become a "sister to many" and you see my desire still to become a "mother to many"...through adoption, through ways I don't see now...Jesus, what can I say? 

YOU ARE GOOD. YOU ARE THE PROMISE KEEPER.

thank you for always being so faithful. thank you for always directing...

"now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of glory with GREAT joy.."

"now to HIM.." I look to you for ALL things, i look to you for ALL power, for ALL opportunities, for ALL answers, through YOU is the only way to live and walk in the day...Holy Spirit, guide me...direct me even still...thank you for the peace through the fog of not understanding...you are just so  good. Jude 24 goes on to say.."who is able"...

Daddy, you are the God who is capable of ALL things...you hold all things under your authority, because we KNOW that me, myself and I are absolutely NOT capable..ASHLEIGH IS NOT CAPABLE...but my JESUS, my Daddy, my Hope...YOU are. 

you come to my rescue when I don't understand life's journey...when things don't make sense, you flood my life with peace that is just insane...I see you lining up the stars to fulfill your promises to me..and although I don't see the whole picture right now, I sure do see where you have given me each instilled desire along the way and even now...you bring me such hope, such great joy..you lead me "blameless before the presence of glory with great joy =)"...

i may not understand it all, i may not see it make sense just yet, but this i know...

YOU ARE THE GOD WHO KEEPS YOUR PROMISES

AND 

I AM THE DAUGHTER WHO SOAKS IT UP.

i love you Daddy, 

Ash

Christ has set me free?

Christ has set me free...

or so Galatians 5:1 says...

The question is ...am i really living free?

if Christ has set me free, why do I feel so not free?

I wake up. my feet hit the ground and my mind plays through the list of things I've got to do ((or at least should attempt to do)). I've got to pay this bill. I've got to wash this load of laundry. I've got to be at work by this time. I've got to...got to...got to. The way I approach these "got to's" is with the motive that if I do not get these done, someone will be disappointed in me. Someone will certainly not be proud of me if I don't complete my list of expectations...

"It is for FREEDOM that CHRIST has set us FREE..."

there has to be a point in your walk with Jesus where you are not relying on people's approval of you anymore. working to gain approval by man doesn't free you, it chains you up. It leaves you feeling beat down when your life is not met to their standards. you have to get to a point with Jesus where HE is the one you're looking at, a point where you hand him your "got to's", pick up your chains of approval and hand them over to him....a point where you actually ALLOW HIM to set you free. 

what does that verse really mean, anyway? It is for freedom that Christ has set us free....He has set us free from sin...from it's weight and it's shame...from it's guilt...when you just read that, did your mind immediately go to some type of sin that seems like it would bring guilt... maybe going in the heck no zone with your boyfriend or hey, for you married ladies, with another co-worker? maybe your mind went to watching that show last night that was all about some visible sin? 

I wanna get to the sin that no one talks about...that everyone overlooks. that leaves you misunderstood and confused as to why your feeling shameful, feeling separated from Jesus, feeling everything but innocent...you haven't sinned, you haven't done anything just absolutely horrid...so why do you feel the way you do? 

maybe you're sin is that you're relying on yourself every day in your walk and not Jesus.

wait..what??? Ashleigh, what you talkin' bout guhhh? 

I rely on Jesus..I talk to him in the morning before I drop the kids off, before I close my locker and head to class, before I park the car and walk into my cubicle at work..He knows I need him...He knows i'm crazy busy with just trying to do life and so I know He gets it that I haven't picked up my bible in a while..all that stuff doesn't mean I've stopped relying on him...

or does it?

the very fact that you admit that you do or don't pray enough, that you do or don't read your bible enough, that you do or don't give to the poor enough, tithe enough, go to church enough, yada yada yada ..could really give way into the deepest parts of your heart..ya see, you...right now...where you are in your life...is where Christ couldn't love you anymore than he does at this very moment. He has come to set you free rom relying on yourself to just do all of these good things, to stay away from the "sinful" life..He has come to set you free from living for him through your own strength and through your own SELF. apart from Him, apart from the Holy Spirit, apart from his supernatural power working in you, you can do nothing....and could it be that you have tried living the "free" life in Jesus actually chained up? in fact, lets go a little deeper here..you were the one who put your own chains on...

He has come to set you FREE from relying on yourself to live for Him...He has got to see you raise your white flag in surrender before He will invade you with the Holy Spirit...when that happens, all of your needs to have mans approval on your "got to's" will be traded in for his "i want to's..." 

and then, THATS when you will REALLY experience the freedom He came to set you free for...

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free...stand firm therefore and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery..." 

...that chain of slavery could be your chains of self and of mans approval...

think about it. are you really walking in freedom?

because walking in freedom is a life consumed and submerged in Jesus...

in resting in who HE is, not in who you NEED to be...

when it's about Him and not you, transformation will begin to take place...

it's the ONLY way to truly live free...

Jesus has set you free from trying to win the approval of man ( Galations 1:10 )
Jesus could not love you anymore than He does right now...so you can stop trying to earn his love... he loves you already...just love him back...( Romans 8:31-39)
Jesus will equip you for every good work...( 2 Timothy 3:17 )
Jesus will produce the fruit in you when you remain in him...hidden in who he is..( John 15:5 )
Jesus promises you that HIS burden is light and his load is easy...( Matthew 11:28-30 )
JESUS empowers you ( anoints you)...you CAN'T empower or anoint yourself... only Jesus can...         ( Luke 4:18-19 )

Let Him show you what REAL freedom looks like,
love in Jesus,
Ash

push out your chair...

I had an epiphany last Sunday around 11:30 in the morning and I feel the need to blog about it...

sometimes thats the way that Jesus speaks...ya know? just abruptly and all at once...it's like something that happens out of nowhere triggers a lightbulb and suddenly you've got fireworks goin off behind your eyes like it's straight up fourth of july time..it's crazy stuff..of course, he speaks in many different ways and if i touched on this subject, i'd be here all day..but i'd really like to be short and sweet today if that's alright with ya'll fine folks...

okay, SO back to the crazy epiphany i had last week...i decided to sit with our fabulous and sassy 9th grade girls last sunday during our student time (trying to avoid the words "sunday school class" because that just sounds so...mmm...how do I put this..old fashioned..?)...well, as i walked in and pulled up a chair to the already developed circle of chairs, i noticed something almost instantly...when i walked into the room..most of the girls turned their heads towards me and the door, smiled their cutesy pearly whites at me and all scooted out their chair just about an inch. 

my eyes grew wide.

lightbulb.

mouth wide open (in my mind).

did you hear what i just said? they all scooted out their seats to form a bigger circle. for me. 

I kindly pulled up a chair to fit right inside the small opening they had made for me. the lesson began and girls listened intently. i could tell they were really listening. their eyes were on their leader. my eyes were all on THEM. i love seeing girls get it. girls, i want you to get God. i want you to get scripture. i want you to get that his promises, his dreams, his vision, his "stories" spoken to you on sundays are not just that..."stories"...they are breathing. they are massive. they are bigger than the sun, brighter than the stars that shine at night...they are more beautiful than the landscapes he has created...i want you to grasp that concept. 

as the minutes and lesson rolled on, more girls, one by one, poured in through the door...some arriving late, some coming from the service, some brand new to the class...and i kid you not, as each girl walked through that door, the circle got bigger. no lie. each girl in that circle of chairs pushed their feet out from under them and scooted their chairs back about an inch or two to make room for the new arrival, as they weren't even aware of it. 

my eyes grew wide.

lightbulb.

mouth wide open (literally this time). 

GIRLS, THATS CALLED THE GOSPEL. PUSH OUT YOUR CHAIR. PUSH OUT YOUR BORDERS. OPEN YOUR EYES TO SEE GIRLS AROUND YOU HURTING. GIRLS WHO ARE NICE, BUT LOST. GIRLS WHO HAVE MONEY, BUT DON'T HAVE JESUS.  GIRLS WHO ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE, BUT REALLY HAVE NO ONE. 

PUSH OUT YOUR CHAIR. OPEN UP YOUR ARMS AND MAKE A NEW FRIEND TODAY. GIRLS WHO DON'T LOOK, TALK, ACT, OR THINK LIKE YOU NEED CHRIST. YOU COULD BE THE ONE GOD USES TO BRING THEM LIFE ALL BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO PUSH OUT YOUR CHAIR.
you would be absolutely shocked at all that God pours out on you if you would simply choose to embrace pushing out your chair and allow people to walk into your life who would be the least likely in your own eyes to change your world. trust me. God will use that to increase your borders, to expand your opportunities. to use you in ways you never thought possible. if you never push out your chair, how will you ever experience anything NEW? anything DIFFERENT? anything SUPERNATURAL? 

"your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds..."

"how precious is your steadfast love, O God..."

"Oh continue your steadfast love to those who know You..."

Psalm 36

extend you love.

life or death is hanging on it.

push out your chair.

a great leader...

Soooo last night was our second gn lead night for the books...i know that nights have gotten crazy with school, practices, homework...and theres a lot of you gals out there who are not able to be apart of it but have that desire to grow as becoming a leader..a GREAT leader at that =)...every wednesday after gn lead, ill be posting what was spoken the night before...my desire for ALL of you girls and ladies (college too...) is to become an insanely fabulous leader throughout your time in highschool and college...wherever your season has landed you this year..take heart. grab hope. grab endurance and pursue. pursue all that God has for you. pursue all of who He is...i'm rootin' for ya. I've got my pom poms. i've got my cup of coffee (which has absolutely nothing to do with cheering, i just reaaalllllyyyy like coffee) and am ready to see you move. i'm praying for you...i'm supporting your walks...i'm seeing huge things taking place in every single one of your lives because i believe that your time is now. that your time to rise is right. now.  it's your time to become all who God desires you to be. so get ready. buckle up. stay with me. and lets start the journey. 

Becoming a GREAT leader...

when you think of a GREAT leader in our world, who comes to mind?
when you think of a GREAT leader in YOUR world, right where you live, whether a big or small relationship, who do you think of?

(((i'm serious...stop. and decide who you would consider to be a great leader...like..im not kidding...right now...=)))

as you pin point who you consider to be GREAT leaders, think about this question... what about them has made them a great leader?? How do you think they got to where they are right now? The position and platform that they are standing on right now? Do you think that when they were your age, they knew exactly where God would take them in 10 years? 20 years?

No. a great leader does not wake up one day and decide that they are going to be great....that they are going to reach the top. That they are going to influence the world. That in 10 years, they will be selling over millions of tickets to a sold out concert, led by THEM (ima be honest, im thinkin' of Kari Jobe...she's legit).

-a great leader is not someone who possesses ALL of the ability to be amazing. A great leader does not start out on the top, but on the very bottom. The deep, deep rock bottom...

-a great leader is not someone who has makes it happen.a great leader is someone who realizes that THEY CANT MAKE IT HAPPEN. THAT THEY CANT CHANGE THE WORLD. THAT THEY HAVE NO ABILITY WHATSOEVER TO INFLUENCE THE NATIONS, MUCH LESS THEIR OWN CITIES…WITHOUT CHRIST.

-a great leader starts out alone....broken over their own sin....their own life....their own hurt and broken over what Jesus has done, NOT FOR THE NATIONS, BUT FOR THEMSELVES.

-a great leader doesnt start out as a great leader, but really, as a girl broken over the fact that a man named Jesus loves her, just because he can. Just because he wants to. Just because he sees what could be in her, even when shes messed up. When she doesnt have life figured out. When she doesnt know what direction her next step will be in. She clings to the fact that she doesnt know, but Jesus does. We talked last month about realizing who you are as a daughter of the King: his bride…a great leader begins doing just that. Giving jesus their time and energy, not in trying to change the world, but in trying to change who they are.

-a great leader doesnt start out trying to change the world, but they start out at Jesus feet. They arent up doing, they are still sitting....

Lets look at Kari Jobe for a second… ((totally stolen from Karijobe.com for the record..))

For more than 15 years, well-respected worship leader Kari Jobe has been using her gifts to lead people into the presence of God. When she began leading worship at age 13, she never imagined she would be nominated for a GRAMMY®, win a Dove Award or be praised by the New York Times. She only knew she had a heart for          broken people and a deep desire to lead them to the cross.

         Jobes third album, Majestic (Capitol CMG), reveals her lifelong passion for the Church. “Worship, for  me, has always been such a rescue place in my life,” she says. “When you get down to the very bare bones of worship, it is about us being thankful for the cross and magnifying the name of Jesus above all names. Anything past that is just feel-good music.”

Kari Jobe heard Gods voice leading her to pursue worship right where she was at the age of 13. It wasnt across the world. It wasnt in front of thousands. It wasnt in a recording studio. It was right where she was. And at 13, she fell in love with Jesus and walked through one small door to share his love with a tiny hand full of people.

-->a great leaders number one secret: its not about becoming a great leader. A great leaders intentions are not typically to become a great leader, they are to become like Jesus. They are to love.

-->a great leader leads through love. Thats where their ministry begins. Right where they are. Loving the people right in front of them. A leader sees and understands the love God has for them, and cannot help but give it out…not just to people who are easy to love, but the unloved and unlovable. Jesus uses us to supernaturally love the girls and people who are different from us..it's easy to love the ones who are just like us (most of the time..) but you start trying to love the ones who are nothing like you and the supernatual begins to take place..

-->a great leader is one who simply loves, everywhere she goes. She looks for opportunities to love. Not opportunities to shove Jesus down peoples throats, but to just love people. They realize that apart from the love that Jesus has shown THEM, they would be lost and destined to hell…they would be an absolute wreck.

look up 1 corinthians 13:1-13...like..right now. yes i'm talking to you. go grab your word and flip on over. it says that apart from love, nothing you do matters. it doesnt matter what you do or how spiritual you may seem, if you dont love, YOU ARE NOTHING. Nothing you do, apart from jesus, will matter or make a difference. So…how do you love???

Its one thing to read the scripture on love and to like what it says and want to do what it says, but apart from the supernatural power of God almighty, you will never be able to love. Not like he has called us to anyways. You may think you are loving, but your love is selfish and is conditional. Gods love is unconditional. How do we love? We walk in an attitude of prayer. We reach the end of ourselves, we lay down our pride, lay down our rights, we beg God to become more powerful in us than the enemy, and we PURSUE. We pursue Gods love until it hurts. We ask and ask and ask and ask and don’t stop asking for him to put his love in us. We beg him to break down walls and barriers in our lives that our gripping us. To break anger. To break unforgivenes. To break bitterness. To break resentment. To break a hateful spirit.  To break envy. To break a boastful attitude. We GET at his feet and ask him to undo us…thats where a great leader starts. Begging him to put his love inside of us to literally pour it out to other people...and girls...thats exactly what He does..sometimes your answer might not come right away...the love might not seem to be so easy to reach..maybe..just maybe..thats where God is waiting to see just how desperate you have become to reach his love...to reach your answer..how far will you PRESS INTO HIM to hear him??? if you have yet to hear him, could it be, that you are not pressing in hard enough? answer? its very likely.
 coulddddd ittt beeee......that you found your way to this blog with a calling on your life? Has God placed a passion in your heart that consumes your thoughts…a passion that wont escape you, not even in your dreams? Do you look at Kari Jobe, and say..God I want to be used like that…I want to be used as big as she has been used…the way to begin that journey in your life is a road less traveled but so worth the dust on your feet…it is summed up in one word. LOVE. No matter how big the platform widens for you, if you ever reach a point where you attempt to step into that great leader role and do it without Gods supernatural love in you, you will fail. Drastically.

Thats where you begin your journey to becoming a great leader. Its nothing fancy. Nothing glamorous. Its actually pretty filthy. You allow yourself to become vulnerable to other people and you begin to look for opportunities to love…all because you've sat at his feet and he has broken you...so lets do that. Lets do that in our ministry. lets sit at his feet, lets ask him to break us, and lets love the people in front of us. its the smallest step, put the first step to becoming a great leader...

Love IS the very first step, it is the most important step through your entire journey into becoming a great leader. The one who loves IS a great leader. The greatest leader of all, our leader, WAS love.

GOD IS LOVE.

love in Jesus, 

Ash