I hear things...

Several nights ago, an angel in disguise was sent my way and asked me a question I've never been asked before...She looked at me and asked.."Ashleigh, what in your life do you feel like you so strongly need, that if you went without it, you would immediately become ungrateful, discontent and lose all joy within your life?". I thought long and hard, and as she asked others within our group, I heard answers like "money" or "television", "social media" and even "junk food"...but something different stuck out to me that night in my mind...something unlike anything the others were saying...something that has me tied up, hand cuffed and thrown into a corner..I mustered up my voice only briefly enough to whisper out ..."i feel constantly like my worth comes from what i do. I always have the feeling that I need to be doing something at all times CONSTANTLY."

 Planning, ministering, putting meetings and events on my calendar, budgeting, thinking- making money, studying, preparing,- ALL THE TIME. When I don't have busy things to do- or - when I am literally exhausted from spinning in my hamster wheel from sun up to sun down...

I hear things.

i hear beatings.

i hear the enemy but often do not recognize it as such...

your ineffective. no one sees you. no one is proud of you. your just not doing enough. give up already.

When i hear these things, my head hits the pillow around midnights most nights (for as each night arrives, there seems to always be one more thing i've got to do..and the things roll on most nights into the dark hours of twilight), i open my arms, embrace the lies, and punish my hard work, i tell myself "tomorrow..tomorrow i will do even more." The enemy sits in the corner , smiles and says "yes..yes, tomorrow you will put MORE things on your to do list- you will worry more, you will lose breath even faster- your eyes will grow weaker and weaker as they strain at looking at all the details, all the plans, all the work that before you..your mind will once again be deterred from Jesus..instead of straining to look at him- you will focus on you. on yourself...all day...yes, ashleigh..you are not doing enough...you are not doing a good job...people are disappointed...yes, tomorrow you will do more..."

he sits in the black corner as my eyes drift to sleep believing this lie...too often, i'm rocked to sleep by the enemy and don't even recognize the embrace.

The Lord is speaking. I hear Him...and unlike the enemy, my Jesus is not a coward. He is speaking to me directly, in front of me...within inches of my face. HE IS NOT HIDING....He kicked the enemies tail a long time ago and last night, for the first time in a long while, i heard Jesus himself say to me...

REST.

He told me many things...most in which I am still processing, but the main word i heard the Lord repeating to me over and over again was..

ASHLEIGH, REST.

Last night Jesus directed me to my pillow...to my big fluffy burgundy blanket that i've fallen in love with over these past prolonged cold winter nights...and he literally shut my eyes and sang over me. Did you know He sings over you? For so long now i've worshiped the idol of "busy-ness".The idol called "the to do list". Mine is never ending but ever exhausting. "Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial..."(1 corinthians 10:23) A core distraction, i have come to realize, that is one of the many tools the enemy has in his shed, is the distraction of having too much to do. to much to physically do, too much to work out, too much to worry about, to much to pay for, just too much... and the enemy has many of us chained to the lies that convince us "we are not doing enough..." I can't speak for everyone- because i am most definite that one the other side of this wall are people who are not doing enough...i cannot truly determine that..I know its a deep heart searching everyone should have personally with the Lord...

BUT ...i do know that the Lord is speaking to me. I know that He has awoken me this morning refreshed, as if I awoke to hear waves outside my window, crashing against the glass...birds singing to the Lord, a sweet reminder that He is embracing me, that though I am preparing for the new day ahead of me, though i am about to grab my cup of coffee, my keys and head out the door, that King Jesus still has his arms around me and is still lovingly whispering to me..

ASHLEIGH, MY DARLING, REST. Rest in my all day long. Allow your mind to rest in knowing that my plans will prevail, that though there are things this day may demand from you- I DEMAND THE WAVES TO BE STILL.  I DEMAND THE DEMONS TO FLEE. One word from my lips and all earth stands at attention. no longer will your heart take in the lies of the evil one. no more. I demand good things. I demand words of sound mind, of power, of breath right out of my lungs and into yours.. so today, and everyday, REST, Ashleigh. my grace is sufficient for you. in your weak moments, in your gifts of weakness, when you feel so overloaded your losing breathe, losing energy, losing passion- at the breaking point...hear my words...

"everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial..."(1 cor.10:23)

I will open your ears to hear these truths, i will open your eyes to see the path i've walked and am walking with you...Rest in who i am, because I've came, I've conquered. the enemy is fully aware that I am enough. that I satisfy. that I bring life. and his cunning, dark alley sneaky ways eerily speak out words of death this I know..

BUT ..choose to REST in me, Ashleigh. I am enough for you.

 My grace is sufficient for you (2 cor.12:8-10)

I am the God who SEES. (Genesis 16:13)

I am the God who demands the waves to be still. (Mark 4:38-39)

and I am the God who demands you, my daughter, today and everyday...

"to be still and know the I AM GOD.

Rest in Him today daughter of the King,

love in Jesus,

Ashleigh