Come Out of Hiding...

come out of hiding your safe here with me

there's no need to cover 

what I already see

you've got your reasons but I hold your peace

you've been on lockdown and I hold the key

Cause I loved you before you knew it was love

and I saw it all, still I chose the cross

and you were the one that I was thinking of when I rose from the grave

now rid of the shackles, my victory's yours

I tore the veil for you to come close

there's no reason to stand at a distance anymore

you're not far from home

I'll be your lighthouse when you're lost at sea

and I will illuminate everything

no need to be frightened by intimacy

no, just throw off your fear and come running to me

Cause I loved you before you knew it was love

and I saw it all, still I chose the cross

and you were the one the I was thinking of when I rose from the grave

now rid of the shackles, my victory's yours

I tore the veil for you to come close

there's no reason to stand at a distance anymore

you're not far from home

and oh, as you run..what hindered love will only become part of your story

and oh, as you run..what hindered love will only become part of your story

Baby, your almost home now...please don't quite now. 

you're almost home to Me...

okay. let's just stop for a moment and sob like babies. holy holy cow. (I've never really got that expression before..mmm i've never been introduced to a cow that was at all holy...but whatevs). I made the decision to break down a week ago and buy Steffany Gretzinger's new album "the undoing" for a whopping ten bucks. BEST TEN BUCKS IVE EVER SPENT. The sweet, wonderful, awesome, fabulous Lord has literally poured out a taste of heaven  on me this week, and even this morning, through the songs sung by Steffany. My poor hubs has had to endure ALL of her songs on repeat since I bought the album...but man, oh man, has God opened up MY eyes. Ya know, so many times, I find myself asking Him to open up  blind eyes, to bring freedom to so many girls...but forget to pray for Him to open MY eyes..to bring ME freedom...

WELL...this weekend, I found myself praying for me. that feels so weird just typing it out like that so plain as day, but thats exactly what I found myself doing. praying and asking the Lord to speak to me. to free me. to use me. to wrap ME in his love. sometimes, girls..in fact, EVERY day, girls, you need to pray for yourself. that sounds so selfish. BUT...it's not. how can you beg God to do big things in others if you don't first experience it in yourself? how can you pray for God to use you if your not being moved by Him to begin with? 

As i tackled painting my once beige fireplace this weekend (now a fabulous cream color...can you say LOVE IT?!), this song began playing...and before I knew it, I found my paintbrush at my side instead of on the fireplace...I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I was captivated by the words I was hearing, as if, literally, God was singing over me. <<side not: Zepheniah 3:17>> there is just something about worship and a melody that drives your emotions to the surface of your heart, am i right? I stopped, tears welling up, and just forgot where I was for a minute. I found myself so lost in listening to what He was TELLING ME... girls, LISTEN. 

"Ashleigh, come out of hiding your safe here with me...Ashleigh theres no need to cover what I already see...Ashleigh you've got your reasons but I hold your peace...Ashleigh you've been on lockdown and I hold the key.."

oh my gosh..even as I sit here typing these words, the tears have paid me another visit. They hit the keyboard as I try to regain composure. I just can't help myself. Jesus is telling me to come out of hiding.that im safe with Him...hearing that from my Abba daddy...how does one put into words what that feels like?

"Ashleigh, I loved you before you knew it was love...<<tears dripping>> Ashleigh I saw it all, still I chose the cross...Ashleigh you were the one that I was thinking of when I rose from the grave...Ashleigh , now rid of your shackles my victory's yours, Ashleigh I tore the veil for you to come close, theres no reason to stand at a distance anymore, your not far from home..."

thank you Jesus. I don't understand it. that you saw it all, what you would endure. how I would run...still you chose to endure the cross. for me. you tore the veil for me to come close to you. that You loved me before I even knew what love was, before i even recognized it...there is NO greater daddy than the one I have found in you...you are my lighthouse. you illuminate my life. it's just me and you here now. in this moment.

as I run, Abba, this hindered love is becoming apart of our story. Just yours and mine. Oh how I love that I have a story with you...When i'm all alone, when i don't understand, when there are no girls around, no one but you..you never leave me. you are a love like i've never known.

here I am daddy..out of hiding. nothing hidden from you.

thank you's are not enough...but you'll take them anyways, i know you will. through tears and a heart that is so messed up, you have asked me to come out of hiding and so...

here i am. embracing what makes no sense to the world, but what holds my heart.

i love you.

Ash